It is because of the love and goodness of the author of life, Almighty God, that this story is being written.

Our first acknowledgement in this journey is that marriage is God’s idea and His design, a covenant to reflect the saving love we receive through His son, Jesus. In light of stories from family, friends, mentors, and loads of books, John and I have discovered that the journey is a combination of both romantic adventure and persistent choice to battle selfish nature and to love instead. (Thanks to all of you for patiently indulging our curiosities with transparent and hopeful responses.)

We recently read a book about marriage, and the author describes his wife this way: “I caution readers about the way contemporary culture defines ‘soul mate’ as ‘a perfectly compatible match.’ Nevertheless, when we first began to spend time with each other, we each realized that the other was a rare fit for our hearts." So far, that has been one of the most accurate descriptions we’ve heard!

As part of our story, it is necessary to share that John and I are both over-thinkers and cautious planners. Once, John told the story about a time when he was in ninth grade and made a seating chart for an evening at the movies. The chart outlined where each of his friends would sit in the theater. He thought it would help everyone “connect more smoothly and have a better time.” I laughed when he told it because it is so characteristic of him to put that much thought into a meeting as ordinary as the movies.

I have to admit that we have this quality (condition?) in common. It is a two-sided coin, simultaneously one of our greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses. Put simply, we are both idealists. Yet despite all our seating arrangements and master plans, no narrative reaches the height of God’s story for us. John and I often joke that we can create any blueprint we want, but God will ultimately design something much more incredible and majestic. He has been teaching us that love is about leaning into surprises, upsets, less-than-ideal, off-course adventures, and extreme joy - which is scary in its own right. (Just ask Brene Brown!) We are hoping to keep our feet firmly planted in this truth as we move forward into the next season. During a time of busyness, excitement, major decisions, and plans begging to be made, we are finding that it helps to remember and share our story...

John and I attended Lee University in Cleveland, Tennessee, about three hours southeast of John’s hometown of Nashville and an hour north of my hometown in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I transferred to Lee as a junior, with only three semesters remaining until graduation, while John studied at Lee all four (and a half) years. We missed each other altogether until we signed up to take a cross-cultural trip with the university our senior year. In the summer of 2011, we traveled to Beijing, China and stayed in a village an hour outside of the city.

We had been in seminars together leading up to the trip, but in China we started to become friends. During that time, we were good at doing two things with each other: having deep, meaningful conversations and giving each other flak. (Some things never change.) Nonetheless, we connected pretty quickly and enjoyed one another's company during expeditions to the city, volleyball matches with the locals, and many other exciting China experiences.

On the way back to the states, we rode next to each other on a 13-hour plane ride and bonded over more reflections and anecdotes. Once home, I don’t think we made any intentional plans to keep in touch, but it still happened for us over the next few years.

They say that hindsight is 20/20; I believe that now more than ever. At the time of the China trip, John and I both had other romantic interests, so we didn’t exactly look for dating potential in one another. Neither of us had plans for anything beyond friendship back then (although John might add to the tale that he had an inkling or a hunch). We returned to lives in Tennessee that didn’t include a hint of mutuality - or so we thought - other than our shared cross-cultural experience. Over the next three years, however, we discovered several associations, little threads here or there that served to further connect us. We kept in touch sporadically and got together for food or coffee during Homecoming weekends or my travel circuits with work.

In the spring of 2014, John felt it impressed upon himself to trust me with a writing project he was working on. That summer, we started exchanging stories and writing about things that really mattered to us, lessons we’d learned through heartache or loss or change. In many ways, it exposed our hearts to one another and that made all the difference for us. 

Then, one weekend in August, we were planning to work on one of the chapters together. Rather than calling me at noon as we had planned, he showed up on my doorstep at 11:00am to “talk.” That particular day goes down in history for us as pivotal and endearing.

It would take too many pages to describe the next year - growing close and enjoying the sweetness of getting to know each other, fighting for time as a long-distance couple, and embracing the challenges of blending two different sets of perspectives, beliefs, and behaviors. Ultimately, our courtship was wonderful because we are blessed with family and dear friends who are willing to share their lives and offer reproof, support, and a considerable amount of care. Over time, our friendship grew into romance, then further into engagement.

On November 6, 2015, John proposed on Lookout Mountain, close to the location of our first date. A friend convinced me that we were spending the night at a condo in Chattanooga for my birthday. When we arrived at a house on top of the mountain to “get the key from the owner,” my friend sent me inside where John had arranged a trail of sentimental notes and trinkets. I found my way to where he was on the back deck, and he asked me to be his wife against the backdrop of fog-covered mountains and a pink-blue sky. It was so beautiful. The remainder of the night was a lovely, memorable celebration with friends over good food, games, and lots of laughter. Certainly, our cups are overflowing with God’s faithfulness and the evidence of his presence in our lives.

I love the epilogue of Timothy and Kathy Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage: “Nevertheless, at the end of the day, Christ’s love is the great foundation for building a marriage that sings. Some who turn to Christ find that his love comes in like a wave that instantly floods the hard ground of their hearts. Others find that his love comes in gently and gradually, like soft rain or even a mist. But in any case, the heart becomes like ground watered by Christ’s love, which enables all the forms of human love to grow.”

May our love for you and your love for us continue to grow in the coming seasons. Thank you for joining our special celebration.

Sincerely,

John & Jenn

1 John 4:7-11